Bamboo：Autistic — Apeace Voice

永恆的距離：那一次沒有完成的觸碰Eternal Distance: The Unfinished Touch.mp3

　這塊化石，靜靜地躺在宜蘭的廢墟之中。
它來自德國，來自一億五千萬年前的深海。
但當您凝視它時，您看到的不是死亡，而是一個「差一點」就成功的瞬間。
一個差一點，就觸碰到彼此的瞬間。
第一章：安靜的沉睡
故事開始於寧靜。
一隻名為「磐石」的魚龍，已經走到了生命的盡頭。
祂沒有掙扎，沒有咆哮。祂閉上了眼睛，也閉上了嘴巴。
像是一尊安詳的雕像，祂緩緩沉向漆黑的海床。在那個瞬間，祂是孤獨的，也是平靜的。
第二章：疾風的衝刺
但海洋從不只有寧靜。
在「磐石」的側後方，另一隻充滿生命力的魚龍「閃電」，正以極快的速度前進。
也許祂並沒有看見沉底的「磐石」，也許祂只是在享受速度的快感。
「閃電」張著嘴，身體呈流線型，正準備從「磐石」的身旁「掠過」。
第三章：時間的凍結
就在這個瞬間——
「閃電」的身體，正準備滑過「磐石」的軀幹。
「閃電」的嘴部，正準備滑入「磐石」下顎的那個空隙。
兩者的距離，近到幾乎為零，近到彷彿「閃電」的嘴即將親吻「磐石」的下巴。
但是——
世界巨變。
一場突如其來的泥石流，或是一陣劇烈的地殼震動，瞬間將這片海域凝固。
那股將「閃電」推向「磐石」的動力，連同兩者之間那「幾乎為零」的距離，被強行鎖死在時間的琥珀裡。
第四章：Robert Y 的視角
這就是我們在宜蘭 Robert Y 廢墟暴龍館 所見到的奇景。
我們看到一隻魚龍嘴巴閉著（「磐石」），另一隻（「閃電」）的嘴部巧妙地「滑入」那個空隙。
這不是重疊，這不是堆積。
這是一場「動態」的凝固。
這讓我們想起了這座博物館的靈魂——Robert Y。
館長楊劍鵬，代號 Robert Y。
他像那隻急速的「閃電」，在歷史的廢墟中不斷挖掘、衝刺。
而這座博物館，像那隻安靜的「磐石」，承接了他帶回來的每一份遠古記憶。
一人，亦是一龍。
Robert Y，既是尋找者，也是被尋找的歷史。
尾聲：最淒美的距離
這塊化石最迷人的地方，在於那個「未完成」。
如果時間再慢一毫秒，「閃電」可能就穿過去了，兩者毫無瓜葛。
如果時間再快一毫秒，「閃電」可能就撞上了，變成一場悲劇。
但就在這個剛好的瞬間，大自然按下了暫停鍵。
兩隻生物，以最親密的姿態，以最安全的距離，永遠地靠在一起。
這是一億五千萬年前，德國深海裡的一次意外。
也是今天，在台灣宜蘭，Robert Y 帶給我們最浪漫的提醒：
「最美的，往往不是結局，而是那個差一點就觸碰到彼此的瞬間。」
This fossil lies quietly in the ruins of Yilan. It hails from Germany, from the deep sea 150 million years ago. Yet when you gaze at it, what you see is not death, but a moment that was almost complete—a moment that was almost a touch.
Chapter 1: The Quiet Slumber
The story begins in stillness. A ichthyosaur named "Rock", at the end of its life, sank gently toward the dark seabed without struggle or roar, eyes and mouth closed, serene as a statue—alone yet peaceful.
Chapter 2: The Swift Dash
But the ocean is never only calm. Behind and to the side of "Rock", another ichthyosaur, "Lightning", full of vitality, surged forward at extreme speed. Perhaps it did not see the sinking "Rock"; perhaps it merely revelled in the thrill of velocity. With jaws agape and a streamlined body, "Lightning" prepared to sweep past "Rock".
Chapter 3: The Freeze of Time
In that split second—
"Lightning’s" body was about to glide past "Rock’s" torso; its jaws were about to slip into the gap beneath "Rock’s" chin. The distance between them was nearly zero, so close that it seemed "Lightning’s" mouth would kiss "Rock’s" jaw.
But then—the world shifted.
A sudden mudslide or violent crustal tremor froze the sea in an instant. The momentum driving "Lightning" toward "Rock", along with that near-zero distance, was locked forever in the amber of time.
Chapter 4: Robert Y’s Perspective
This is the wonder we behold at the Robert Y Ruins Tyrannosaurus Museum in Yilan. We see one ichthyosaur with closed jaws ("Rock"), and the other ("Lightning") with its jaws artfully "slotted" into that gap. This is no overlap, no accumulation—it is a frozen moment of motion.
It evokes the soul of this museum: Robert Y. Curator Yang Jianpeng, codenamed Robert Y, is like the swift "Lightning", digging and dashing relentlessly through the ruins of history. And this museum is like the quiet "Rock", bearing every fragment of ancient memory he brings back.
One man, one dragon. Robert Y is both the seeker and the history being sought.
Epilogue: The Most Poignant Distance
The fossil’s greatest charm lies in its "unfinishedness". If time had slowed by a millisecond more, "Lightning" might have passed by, leaving the two unconnected. If time had hastened by a millisecond, "Lightning" might have collided, turning it into a tragedy.
But in that perfect instant, nature hit pause. Two creatures leaned close forever—in the most intimate posture, yet at the safest distance.
It was an accident in the deep German sea 150 million years ago.
Today, in Yilan, Taiwan, it is also the most romantic reminder Robert Y gives us:
"The most beautiful things are often not the endings, but the moments that were almost a touch."

真誠作舟-邂逅禹橙信仰真誠的悸動Sincerity as a Vessel—Encountering the Thrill of Yu Cheng’s Faith in Sincerity.mp3

　　在今天清晨的時候，無意間滑到了這個禹橙的視頻。
https://youtube.com/shorts/_N_eBZPt5Ec?feature=shared
那這個人，他的演說讓我著實的感動，可以說是真的是非常的感動，感到靈魂的共鳴。
IG:https://www.instagram.com/p/DTKbugmExfg/?igsh=MTg3cTZmdG92dXBpeg==
雖然我完全不認識她，我並不是因為她有很高的成功能力，而是後來在搜尋她的影片時，我看到她講的「真誠」二字——因為我感覺到真誠在這個世界上真的是越來越少了。
早上我分享的一段音頻，後來聽著覺得有點嚴肅，或許是因為我最近的聲音狀態不是那麼 OK。但我覺得，看見禹橙是我人生中非常美好的際遇，雖然我們素不相識，只是在 YouTube 偶然滑到，卻發現她的信念與我有重疊之處，核心便是真誠。
我覺得在這個世界上已經很難遇到真誠的人，我可以對身邊需要互動的人付出真誠，但很少有人能接得住，以至於我有時難以堅持。或許是特殊的緣分，或許只是單純美好的幸運，才會有彼此契合的瞬間。
近來我的人生有了很美好的開始，這並不是因為賺了多少錢、獲得了怎樣的能力，而是我開始重新認識自己——當然也得益於貴人的啟發、鼓勵或指點。總之，我始終懷著感恩之心。而當我重新認識自己後，很多事情都如撥雲見霧般迎刃而解。
我開始想要回饋這樣的美好感受，思考自己能做些什麼回報這個世界，回報那些曾經啟發我、善待我的人。
禹橙說，真誠不是每一個人都接得住的，當你用真誠的心對待別人，很少有人能同樣真誠回應，即便有回應，也往往有限。我在想，我們的世界沒有那麼多時間讓我們一一踐行真誠的作為，但只要我們秉持真誠之心，相信宇宙間自然會有奇妙的連結，讓那些能接受真誠、回應真誠的人來到我們身邊，建立更持續的關係。
即便沒有持續的關係連結，信念的契合也已足夠——因為人生有限，我們沒有那麼多時間與太多人來往，也無需如此。我們大部分時間都要處理自身的角色定位、肩負的責任，以及陪伴親人，這些才是我們最堅固的底氣與能量來源。
我們的家人未必都能認同、欣賞或全然支持我們，但只要我們抱著真誠之心與無私的愛，相信無論怎樣的家人，最終都會成為我們無可取代的強大力量。
這讓我突然想到父親曾經提起的舜的故事，也是我的恩師淨空法師（上敬下空老法師）講過的典故。古代的舜是一位非常值得敬重的帝王，堯帝傳賢不傳子，將最珍貴的帝王之位傳給了舜，而非自己的兒女。
舜的母親是父親再娶的後母，對他十分嫌惡，連同舜的弟弟，曾聯合起來謀害他：叫他去井裡修理東西，趁機將井填死，企圖讓他葬身井底；叫他去修屋頂，又打算放火焚燒。但舜非常有智慧，遇事不慌張、不怨恨，從井中找到隱秘出口逃離，也從燃燒的屋頂順利脫險——或許是他德行高尚，上天不願滅他。
事後，舜並沒有質問父母為何如此，反而表現得若無其事，依舊更加孝順父母。最終，他的父母被深深感動，從此愛他如親子。舜能成為帝王，完全是憑藉自身的智慧、德行、能力與福報，從未透過強取豪奪或任何手段。他治理國家極為完善，愛護百姓，從他早年的小事中便可見一般：比如大家一起在池塘工作時，有人認真、有人懈怠，他從不斥責或教訓那些不做事的人，卻能讓懈怠者心生慚愧，主動跟隨認真努力的人學習——這樣的引領之力，最終讓他得以治理整個國家，這份精神讓人無比感動。
禹橙年輕有為，無論是稱她為 CEO 還是其他身份，她都絕非普通人。她就像是上天派來給地球帶來更多美好的使者，無論是財富、智慧還是她的所作所為，都蘊含著珍貴的價值。我相信世界上或許有比她更富裕、更會賺錢的人，但像她這麼年輕，就能帶給世界如此正向智慧觀念與思維價值的人，實在少之又少。
更讓我驚訝的是，她如此美好的信念，在她的 YouTube 頻道中竟然沒有人點贊——我興起給她點贊的念頭，發現自己竟是第一個。我不知道自己何其幸運，能遇見這樣美好的人和事，這簡直是今天早上最幸福的際遇。
願把這份美好分享給所有有緣聽到這段 Podcast 的朋友。
This morning, I accidentally came across Yu Cheng's YouTube short. Her speech truly touched me, even resonated with my soul. I don't know her at all, and it's not because of her remarkable achievements, but the word "sincerity" she spoke of—sincerity is becoming increasingly rare in this world.
The audio I shared earlier felt a bit serious, probably due to my poor voice condition lately. Yet encountering Yu Cheng is a wonderful fate in my life. Though we are strangers, stumbling upon her video made me find overlapping beliefs with her, with sincerity at the core.
It's hard to meet sincere people nowadays. I can offer sincerity to those around me, but few can reciprocate, making it hard for me to persist at times. Perhaps it's fate or pure luck that brings such moments of alignment.
Recently, my life has taken a beautiful turn—not because of money or enhanced abilities, but because I've rediscovered myself, thanks to the inspiration, encouragement and guidance from noble people. I'm always grateful. After rediscovering myself, many things have cleared up like mist lifting.
I now want to give back this beautiful feeling, thinking about what I can do for the world and those who have inspired and treated me well.
Yu Cheng said sincerity isn't something everyone can accept. When you treat others sincerely, few respond in the same way, and even if they do, it's often limited. I think our world doesn't leave us much time to practice sincerity one by one, but as long as we hold a sincere heart, the universe will create wonderful connections, bringing people who accept and reciprocate sincerity into our lives for lasting relationships.
Even without lasting bonds, the alignment of beliefs is enough—life is limited, we don't have time to interact with too many people, nor do we need to. Most of the time, we deal with our own roles, responsibilities, and accompanying family—these are our strongest foundations and sources of energy.
Our family may not all understand, appreciate or fully support us, but with a sincere heart and selfless love, I believe all family members will eventually become our irreplaceable strength.
This reminds me of the story of Shun told by my father, also mentioned by my mentor, Venerable Jingkong. Shun, a revered emperor in ancient times, inherited the throne from Emperor Yao, who chose virtue over bloodline.
Shun's stepmother and half-brother hated him and tried to kill him—they let him repair a well and filled it, and asked him to fix the roof then set it on fire. But Shun was wise, calm and unresentful. He escaped through a hidden exit in the well and survived the burning roof—perhaps his noble virtue saved him.
Afterwards, Shun didn't question his parents, but acted as if nothing happened and treated them even more filially. Eventually, his parents were deeply moved and loved him as their own. Shun became emperor through his wisdom, virtue, abilities and blessings, never by force or trickery. He governed the country impeccably and cared for the people. Even in his early years, when working in ponds, some slacked off while others worked hard. He never scolded the lazy, yet made them feel ashamed and follow the diligent voluntarily—this guiding power ultimately let him govern the entire country, a spirit that deeply moves people.
Yu Cheng is young and accomplished. Whether called CEO or otherwise, she is extraordinary. She is like an angel sent by heaven to bring more goodness to the world—her wealth, wisdom and deeds all embody precious values. I believe there may be richer people, but few are as young and able to bring such positive, wise ideas and thinking values to the world.
What surprised me more is that her wonderful beliefs received no likes on her YouTube channel—I was the first to like it. I don't know how lucky I am to encounter such a wonderful person and thing; it's the happiest experience this morning.
May I share this goodness with all friends who have the fortune to listen to this podcast.

真誠作舟-邂逅禹橙信仰真誠的悸動Sincerity as a Vessel—Encountering the Thrill of Yu Cheng’s Faith in Sincerity.mp3

　　在今天清晨的時候，無意間滑到了這個禹橙的視頻。
https://youtube.com/shorts/_N_eBZPt5Ec?feature=shared
那這個人，他的演說讓我著實的感動，可以說是真的是非常的感動，感到靈魂的共鳴。
雖然我完全不認識她，我並不是因為她有很高的成功能力，而是後來在搜尋她的影片時，我看到她講的「真誠」二字——因為我感覺到真誠在這個世界上真的是越來越少了。
早上我分享的一段音頻，後來聽著覺得有點嚴肅，或許是因為我最近的聲音狀態不是那麼 OK。但我覺得，看見禹橙是我人生中非常美好的際遇，雖然我們素不相識，只是在 YouTube 偶然滑到，卻發現她的信念與我有重疊之處，核心便是真誠。
我覺得在這個世界上已經很難遇到真誠的人，我可以對身邊需要互動的人付出真誠，但很少有人能接得住，以至於我有時難以堅持。或許是特殊的緣分，或許只是單純美好的幸運，才會有彼此契合的瞬間。
近來我的人生有了很美好的開始，這並不是因為賺了多少錢、獲得了怎樣的能力，而是我開始重新認識自己——當然也得益於貴人的啟發、鼓勵或指點。總之，我始終懷著感恩之心。而當我重新認識自己後，很多事情都如撥雲見霧般迎刃而解。
我開始想要回饋這樣的美好感受，思考自己能做些什麼回報這個世界，回報那些曾經啟發我、善待我的人。
禹橙說，真誠不是每一個人都接得住的，當你用真誠的心對待別人，很少有人能同樣真誠回應，即便有回應，也往往有限。我在想，我們的世界沒有那麼多時間讓我們一一踐行真誠的作為，但只要我們秉持真誠之心，相信宇宙間自然會有奇妙的連結，讓那些能接受真誠、回應真誠的人來到我們身邊，建立更持續的關係。
即便沒有持續的關係連結，信念的契合也已足夠——因為人生有限，我們沒有那麼多時間與太多人來往，也無需如此。我們大部分時間都要處理自身的角色定位、肩負的責任，以及陪伴親人，這些才是我們最堅固的底氣與能量來源。
我們的家人未必都能認同、欣賞或全然支持我們，但只要我們抱著真誠之心與無私的愛，相信無論怎樣的家人，最終都會成為我們無可取代的強大力量。
這讓我突然想到父親曾經提起的舜的故事，也是我的恩師淨空法師（上敬下空老法師）講過的典故。古代的舜是一位非常值得敬重的帝王，堯帝傳賢不傳子，將最珍貴的帝王之位傳給了舜，而非自己的兒女。
舜的母親是父親再娶的後母，對他十分嫌惡，連同舜的弟弟，曾聯合起來謀害他：叫他去井裡修理東西，趁機將井填死，企圖讓他葬身井底；叫他去修屋頂，又打算放火焚燒。但舜非常有智慧，遇事不慌張、不怨恨，從井中找到隱秘出口逃離，也從燃燒的屋頂順利脫險——或許是他德行高尚，上天不願滅他。
事後，舜並沒有質問父母為何如此，反而表現得若無其事，依舊更加孝順父母。最終，他的父母被深深感動，從此愛他如親子。舜能成為帝王，完全是憑藉自身的智慧、德行、能力與福報，從未透過強取豪奪或任何手段。他治理國家極為完善，愛護百姓，從他早年的小事中便可見一般：比如大家一起在池塘工作時，有人認真、有人懈怠，他從不斥責或教訓那些不做事的人，卻能讓懈怠者心生慚愧，主動跟隨認真努力的人學習——這樣的引領之力，最終讓他得以治理整個國家，這份精神讓人無比感動。
禹橙年輕有為，無論是稱她為 CEO 還是其他身份，她都絕非普通人。她就像是上天派來給地球帶來更多美好的使者，無論是財富、智慧還是她的所作所為，都蘊含著珍貴的價值。我相信世界上或許有比她更富裕、更會賺錢的人，但像她這麼年輕，就能帶給世界如此正向智慧觀念與思維價值的人，實在少之又少。
更讓我驚訝的是，她如此美好的信念，在她的 YouTube 頻道中竟然沒有人點贊——我興起給她點贊的念頭，發現自己竟是第一個。我不知道自己何其幸運，能遇見這樣美好的人和事，這簡直是今天早上最幸福的際遇。
願把這份美好分享給所有有緣聽到這段 Podcast 的朋友。
This morning, I accidentally came across Yu Cheng's YouTube short. Her speech truly touched me, even resonated with my soul. I don't know her at all, and it's not because of her remarkable achievements, but the word "sincerity" she spoke of—sincerity is becoming increasingly rare in this world.
The audio I shared earlier felt a bit serious, probably due to my poor voice condition lately. Yet encountering Yu Cheng is a wonderful fate in my life. Though we are strangers, stumbling upon her video made me find overlapping beliefs with her, with sincerity at the core.
It's hard to meet sincere people nowadays. I can offer sincerity to those around me, but few can reciprocate, making it hard for me to persist at times. Perhaps it's fate or pure luck that brings such moments of alignment.
Recently, my life has taken a beautiful turn—not because of money or enhanced abilities, but because I've rediscovered myself, thanks to the inspiration, encouragement and guidance from noble people. I'm always grateful. After rediscovering myself, many things have cleared up like mist lifting.
I now want to give back this beautiful feeling, thinking about what I can do for the world and those who have inspired and treated me well.
Yu Cheng said sincerity isn't something everyone can accept. When you treat others sincerely, few respond in the same way, and even if they do, it's often limited. I think our world doesn't leave us much time to practice sincerity one by one, but as long as we hold a sincere heart, the universe will create wonderful connections, bringing people who accept and reciprocate sincerity into our lives for lasting relationships.
Even without lasting bonds, the alignment of beliefs is enough—life is limited, we don't have time to interact with too many people, nor do we need to. Most of the time, we deal with our own roles, responsibilities, and accompanying family—these are our strongest foundations and sources of energy.
Our family may not all understand, appreciate or fully support us, but with a sincere heart and selfless love, I believe all family members will eventually become our irreplaceable strength.
This reminds me of the story of Shun told by my father, also mentioned by my mentor, Venerable Jingkong. Shun, a revered emperor in ancient times, inherited the throne from Emperor Yao, who chose virtue over bloodline.
Shun's stepmother and half-brother hated him and tried to kill him—they let him repair a well and filled it, and asked him to fix the roof then set it on fire. But Shun was wise, calm and unresentful. He escaped through a hidden exit in the well and survived the burning roof—perhaps his noble virtue saved him.
Afterwards, Shun didn't question his parents, but acted as if nothing happened and treated them even more filially. Eventually, his parents were deeply moved and loved him as their own. Shun became emperor through his wisdom, virtue, abilities and blessings, never by force or trickery. He governed the country impeccably and cared for the people. Even in his early years, when working in ponds, some slacked off while others worked hard. He never scolded the lazy, yet made them feel ashamed and follow the diligent voluntarily—this guiding power ultimately let him govern the entire country, a spirit that deeply moves people.
Yu Cheng is young and accomplished. Whether called CEO or otherwise, she is extraordinary. She is like an angel sent by heaven to bring more goodness to the world—her wealth, wisdom and deeds all embody precious values. I believe there may be richer people, but few are as young and able to bring such positive, wise ideas and thinking values to the world.
What surprised me more is that her wonderful beliefs received no likes on her YouTube channel—I was the first to like it. I don't know how lucky I am to encounter such a wonderful person and thing; it's the happiest experience this morning.
May I share this goodness with all friends who have the fortune to listen to this podcast.

特教孩子的驚艷突破與經典共讀的無價時光The Amazing Breakthrough of Special Needs Children and the Priceless Time of Reading Classics Together.mp3

Hello everybody，真的是忍不住想要馬上分享。
由於我的兒子從幼兒園開始就一直就讀特教班。剛剛我遇到了他的同學，你看我開心到連麥克風都忘了開。OK，好，現在是擴音模式，聲音會稍微大一點。
我遇到他的時候，他媽媽摟著他。多少個寒暑的早晨，只要他碰到我，永遠都會跟我說「安喆媽媽好」。可是他的眼睛永遠望向遠方，不過經過我身邊時，都會大聲跟我打招呼。然後他媽媽就會趕快、有點困窘地對他說：「要看著人，要看著安喆媽媽呀。」哇哦，他永遠還是看著遠方，頂多再說一次「安喆媽媽好」。
可是剛剛他經過我身邊，穿著很厚重的外套，他媽媽一樣摟著他，他卻看著我跟我說「安喆媽媽好」。哇哦，這是一個多麼大的進步！我真的開心到簡直想要擁抱他，可是他已經六年級了，高頭大馬的，比我還高，他的媽媽也長得很高。我跟他媽媽都激動地說，他是看著我、跟我問早安呢！他真的在看我，哇，我簡直無法相信自己的眼睛。他已經快步往前繼續前進，我趕緊比他更快衝到他面前攔住他，讓他再跟我說一次，他就看著我說「安喆媽媽好」，耶！
你們可能會覺得，就看著你打招呼而已，這有什麼？可是對這個孩子來說，從幼兒園到國小六年級，我看了他六年，這是他第一次看著我跟我說「安喆媽媽好」，這是多麼令人感動、令人雀躍的一件事啊！
我覺得人這一生，很習慣自己擁有的能力、很習慣自己的福報、很習慣呼吸的空氣，也很習慣自然說出口的話，不覺得這有什麼，也不覺得有什麼好感恩的。但當我們遇到一個好幾年都沒辦法說出正確的話、做對正確的事、看向正確位置的人，他做出這樣突破性的跨越，這真的是非常了不起的事情。我相信他人生中能有這樣的跨越，將來一定也能做出更多突破。
就像我的重度自閉症兒子，即便他現在還是不能講話，昨天卻跟著我靜靜讀經。我昨天其實好累，可能有點感冒，不太舒服。回家吃完晚餐、洗完全部的鍋碗之後，我幾乎累癱了，完全想癱軟在床上休息。但想到我的兒子，我好像沒什麼能為他做的，而他又很黏我。以前都是他爸爸陪他們睡，我因為要工作，得睡在另一張床；最近他會想要來找我，就跟著我到我的床上。我有點不捨，就帶著他念古文。
他最近又能靜下來聽古文了。我幫他念《老子》和《莊子》，《老子》剛念完，現在帶他念《莊子》。《莊子》的文章很長，不像平常看到的蔡志忠漫畫版那樣，用簡潔的方式呈現思維——蔡志忠真的是我非常欣賞的一位不可思議的前輩老師。念《莊子》其實很辛苦，一是因為它是文言文，二是文字不是短句，而是滿滿的篇章，甚至段落都很少，整篇都是密密麻麻的文字。
我念的過程中又很累，有時候忍不住打瞌睡，但還是試著把上次沒念完的第二篇章念完。中間我忍不住停頓時，我兒子會拍拍我，指指書，叫我繼續念下去，這真的太令人感動了。我本來在錄podcast，想把我和兒子相處的過程記錄下來，有時候他會跑掉，我得喊他回來，這些也都錄進去了。我想真實呈現我們相處的狀況，他並不能很快接受我給他的一切，所以有時沒辦法，只能按停止鍵，當天就到此為止。
昨天他卻很乖巧地聽我念完了第二篇章。第三篇章因為我狀態不太好，就沒錄podcast，硬著頭皮繼續念。要念完其實並不容易，後來我實在念不下去了，看到他大概也發現媽媽累了，就準備起身。我說：「好，那你乖乖去睡覺。」然後帶他刷了牙，送他到爸爸那邊休息。
我覺得這真的是非常美好的進展。他從以前不願意做、不願意聽、一直想衝出去，到現在希望我把古文念完——雖然我也不知道他能理解多少古文內容，其實我自己也未必完全理解。但透過他喜歡的這種音頻、這種音波，帶領他接觸古人智慧的殿堂。在這個殿堂裡，他不論是坐是卧是躺，至少觸碰到了流傳三千多年以上的經典，這些文字至今仍未從世界上消失，足以證明它們的底蘊與力量。
我真的非常榮幸，在莊子過世這麼多年後，還能閱讀到他的文化精髓，即便我還無法真正領悟。在念誦的過程中，我感覺自己的生命與這些有智慧的人更靠近了，哪怕只是一公厘也好，這都會讓我們的生命更優雅、更快樂，更能如老子所說的「無為而治」，更能隨遇而安、活在當下。
就像莊子所說的「無用之樹」的故事：一位老師跟學生說，這棵樹完全無用——泡水會爛，蓋房子會被蟲蛀，正因為無用，才能長成參天大樹。學生一開始不理解，只覺得參天大樹很宏偉，直到老師點明它的「無用」。後來這棵樹在夢中告訴老師，正是因為「無用」，它才沒有在幼小時就被砍伐去做人類認為「有用」的事，才能苟延殘喘至今，長成參天大樹。
補充感悟：當我們如果意外發現自己有點用時，不要太張揚，要向莊子故事中的老樹學習，能理解無用之用的美好，才是保命之道！
謝謝收聽，感恩您。
Hello everybody, I really can't help but share this right away.
My son has been attending a special education class since kindergarten. Just now, I ran into his classmate—I was so happy that I even forgot to turn on the microphone. OK, now it's on speaker mode, so the sound will be a bit louder.
When I met him, his mom was holding him by the arm. For countless mornings, through all seasons, whenever he saw me, he would always say, "Hello, Anzhe's mom." But his eyes would always gaze into the distance; still, as he passed by, he would greet me loudly. Then his mom would quickly and somewhat awkwardly say to him, "Look at the person, look at Anzhe's mom." Wow, he would still keep looking far away, at most repeating "Hello, Anzhe's mom" once more.
But just now, as he walked past me, wearing a thick coat and with his mom holding him the same way, he looked straight at me and said, "Hello, Anzhe's mom." Wow, what an incredible progress! I was so happy that I almost wanted to hug him, but he's already in sixth grade—tall and sturdy, even taller than me, and his mom is also very tall. Both his mom and I were excited, saying that he was looking at me and greeting me good morning! He was really looking at me; I couldn't believe my eyes. He had already quickened his pace to move forward, so I hurried to run ahead and stop him, asking him to say it again. He looked at me and said, "Hello, Anzhe's mom." Yes!
You might think, "So he just greeted you while looking at you—what's the big deal?" But for this child, from kindergarten to sixth grade, I've watched him for six years. This was the first time he looked at me and said, "Hello, Anzhe's mom." It's such a touching and joyful moment!
I think in life, we often take our abilities, blessings, the air we breathe, and the words we speak naturally for granted. We don't think these things are special, nor do we feel grateful for them. But when we encounter someone who has struggled for years to speak correctly, act appropriately, or look at the right direction, and they make such a breakthrough, it's truly an extraordinary achievement. I believe if he can make this kind of leap in life, he will surely achieve more breakthroughs in the future.
Just like my son with severe autism—even though he still can't speak, he quietly read scriptures with me yesterday. I was really tired yesterday; I might have caught a cold and felt unwell. After coming home, having dinner, and washing all the dishes, I was almost exhausted and just wanted to collapse on the bed to rest. But thinking about my son, I felt like there wasn't much I could do for him, yet he's very attached to me. In the past, his dad would sleep with them, while I had to sleep in another bed because of work. Recently, he has been wanting to come find me and would follow me to my bed. Feeling a little reluctant to let him go, I decided to read ancient texts with him.
He has been able to sit quietly and listen to ancient texts again lately. I read Laozi and Zhuangzi to him—I just finished Laozi, and now we're on Zhuangzi. Zhuangzi is full of long passages, unlike the Cai Zhizhong comic versions we usually see, which present his ideas in a concise way. Cai Zhizhong is truly an incredible senior teacher whom I deeply admire. Reading Zhuangzi is actually quite challenging: first, it's written in classical Chinese, and second, the text consists of long paragraphs rather than short sentences—there are even very few paragraph breaks, with dense text filling the pages.
I was so tired while reading that I couldn't help dozing off at times, but I still tried to finish the second chapter that I hadn't completed last time. When I couldn't help pausing midway, my son would pat me and point at the book, urging me to continue. It was really touching! I was originally recording a podcast to document the time I spend with my son—sometimes he would run off, and I would have to call him back, and those moments were also recorded. I wanted to truly present our daily interactions; he can't easily accept everything I offer, so sometimes I have no choice but to press stop and call it a day.
But yesterday, he behaved so well and listened to me finish the second chapter. For the third chapter, since I wasn't feeling well, I didn't record the podcast but forced myself to keep reading. Finishing it wasn't easy, and eventually, I couldn't go on anymore. I noticed that he probably sensed I was tired and got ready to stand up. I said, "Alright, go to bed obediently." Then I took him to brush his teeth and sent him to his dad's side to rest.
I think this is such a wonderful progress. From being unwilling to participate, refusing to listen, and always wanting to run out, to now hoping that I finish reading the ancient texts—even though I don't know how much he understands, and honestly, I don't fully grasp them myself. But through the audio and sound waves he likes, I'm leading him to touch the palace of ancient wisdom. In this palace, whether he is sitting, lying down, or reclining, he is at least connecting with classics that have been passed down for over 3,000 years. The fact that these words still exist in the world today is a testament to their profound heritage and power.
I feel truly honored to be able to read the essence of Zhuangzi's culture so many years after his passing, even if I can't fully comprehend it. While reading aloud, I feel that my life is drawing closer to these wise men—even just a millimeter closer. This makes life more elegant, more joyful, and allows us to live in accordance with Laozi's philosophy of "governing by non-interference," to be content with whatever comes our way, and to live in the present moment.
Just like the story of the "useless tree" told by Zhuangzi: a teacher said to his student, "This tree is completely useless—if you soak it in water, it rots; if you use it to build a house, it gets eaten by insects. Precisely because it's useless, it has grown into a towering tree." At first, the student didn't understand and only marveled at the tree's grandeur until the teacher pointed out its "uselessness." Later, the tree appeared to the teacher in a dream and said, "It is precisely because I am useless that I was not cut down when I was young to be used for what humans consider 'useful' purposes. That's why I have been able to survive until now and grow into a towering tree."
Additional insight: If we accidentally discover that we are somewhat useful, we shouldn't be too ostentatious. Instead, we should learn from the old tree in Zhuangzi's story. Understanding the beauty of "the use of uselessness" is the way to protect ourselves!
Thank you for listening. Grateful to you all.

《莊子·齊物論》-1（節選至「無適焉，因是已」）”On the Equality of Things” from the Zhuangzi .mp3

　　《莊子·齊物論》原文（節選至「無適焉，因是已」）
南郭子綦隱機而坐，仰天而嘘，嗒焉似喪其耦。顏成子游立侍乎前，曰：「何居乎？形固可使如槁木，而心固可使如死灰乎？今之隱機者，非昔之隱機者也。」子綦曰：「偃，不亦善乎，而問之也！今者吾喪我，汝知之乎？汝聞人籟而未聞地籟，汝聞地籟而未聞天籟夫！」
子游曰：「敢問其方。」子綦曰：「夫大塊噫氣，其名為風。是唯無作，作則萬竅怒呺。而獨不聞之翏翏乎？山林之畏隹，大木百圍之竅穴，似鼻，似口，似耳，似枅，似圈，似臼，似窪者，似污者。激者、謞者、叱者、吸者、叫者、譹者、宎者、咬者，前者唱于而隨者唱喁，泠風則小和，飄風則大和，厲風濟則眾竅為虛。而獨不見之調調之刁刁乎？」
子游曰：「地籟則眾竅是已，人籟則比竹是已，敢問天籟。」子綦曰：「夫吹萬不同，而使其自己也。咸其自取，怒者其誰邪？」
大知閑閑，小知間間。大言炎炎，小言詹詹。其寐也魂交，其覺也形開。與接為構，日以心鬥。縵者、窖者、密者。小恐惴惴，大恐縵縵。其發若機栝，其司是非之謂也；其留如詛盟，其守勝之謂也；其殺如秋冬，以言其日消也；其溺之所為之，不可使復之也；其厭也如緘，以言其老洫也；近死之心，莫使復陽也。喜怒哀樂，慮嘆變慹，姚佚啟態。樂出虛，蒸成菌。日夜相代乎前而莫知其所萌。已乎，已乎！旦暮得此，其所由以生乎！
非彼無我，非我無所取。是亦近矣，而不知其所以使。若有真宰，而特不得其眹。可行己信，而不見其形，有情而無形。百骸、九竅、六藏，赅而存焉，吾誰與為親？汝皆說之乎？其有私焉？如是皆有為臣妾乎？其臣妾不足以相治乎？其遞相為君臣乎？其有真君存焉！如求得其情與不得，無益損乎其真。一受其成形，不亡以待盡。與物相刃相靡，其行盡如馳而莫之能止，不亦悲乎！終身役役而不見其成功，苶然疲役而不知其所歸，可不哀邪！人謂之不死，奚益！其形化，其心與之然，可不謂大哀乎？人之生也，固若是芒乎？其我獨芒，而人亦有不芒者乎？
夫隨其成心而師之，誰獨且無師乎？奚必知代而心自取者有之？愚者與有焉！未成乎心而有是非，是今日適越而昔至也。是以無有為有。無有為有，雖有神禹且不能知，吾獨且奈何哉！
夫言非吹也，言者有言。其所言者特未定也。果有言邪？其未嘗有言邪？其以為異於鷇音，亦有辯乎？其無辯乎？道惡乎隱而有真偽？言惡乎隱而有是非？道惡乎往而不存？言惡乎存而不可？道隱於小成，言隱於榮華。故有儒墨之是非，以是其所非而非其所是。欲是其所非而非其所是，則莫若以明。
物無非彼，物無非是。自彼則不見，自知則知之。故曰：彼出於是，是亦因彼。彼是方生之說也。雖然，方生方死，方死方生；方可方不可，方不可方可；因是因非，因非因是。是以聖人不由而照之於天，亦因是也。是亦彼也，彼亦是也。彼亦一是非，此亦一是非，果且有彼是乎哉？果且無彼是乎哉？彼是莫得其偶，謂之道樞。樞始得其環中，以應無窮。是亦一無窮，非亦一無窮也。故曰：莫若以明。
以指喻指之非指，不若以非指喻指之非指也；以馬喻馬之非馬，不若以非馬喻馬之非馬也。天地一指也，萬物一馬也。
可乎可，不可乎不可。道行之而成，物謂之而然。惡乎然？然於然。惡乎不然？不然於不然。惡乎可？可於可。惡乎不可？不可於不可。物固有所然，物固有所可。無物不然，無物不可。故為是舉莛與楹，厲與西施，恢詭譎怪，道通為一。
其分也，成也；其成也，毀也。凡物無成與毀，復通為一。唯達者知通為一，為是不用而寓諸庸。庸也者，用也；用也者，通也；通也者，得也；適得而幾矣。因是已。已而不知其然，謂之道。勞神明為一而不知其同也，謂之「朝三」。何謂「朝三」？狙公賦芧，曰：「朝三而暮四。」眾狙皆怒。曰：「然則朝四而暮三。」眾狙皆悅。名實未虧而喜怒為用，亦因是也。是以聖人和之以是非而休乎天鈞，是之謂兩行。
古之人，其知有所至矣。惡乎至？有以為未始有物者，至矣，盡矣，不可以加矣！其次以為有物矣，而未始有封也。其次以為有封焉，而未始有是非也。是非之彰也，道之所以虧也。道之所以虧，愛之所以成。果且有成與虧乎哉？果且無成與虧乎哉？有成與虧，故昭氏之鼓琴也；無成與虧，故昭氏之不鼓琴也。昭文之鼓琴也，師曠之枝策也，惠子之據梧也，三者之知幾乎皆其盛者也，故載之末年。唯其好之也，以異於彼，其好之也，欲以明之。彼非所明而明之，故以堅白之昧終。而其子又以文之綸終，終身無成。若是而可謂成乎，雖我亦成也；若是而不可謂成乎，物與我無成也。是故滑疑之耀，聖人之所圖也。為是不用而寓諸庸，此之謂「以明」。
今且有言於此，不知其與是類乎？其與是不類乎？類與不類，相與為類，則與彼無以異矣。雖然，請嘗言之：有始也者，有未始有始也者，有未始有夫未始有始也者；有有也者，有无也者，有未始有無也者，有未始有夫未始有無也者。俄而有無矣，而未知有無之果孰有孰無也。今我則已有謂矣，而未知吾所謂之其果有謂乎？其果無謂乎？
夫天下莫大於秋豪之末，而太山為小；莫壽乎殤子，而彭祖為夭。天地與我並生，而萬物與我為一。既已為一矣，且得有言乎？既已謂之一矣，且得無言乎？一與言為二，二與一為三。自此以往，巧歷不能得，而況其凡乎！故自無適有，以至於三，而況自有適有乎！無適焉，因是已！
Nan Guo Zi Qi sat leaning on a small table, gazing up at the sky and sighing, appearing vacant as if he had lost his counterpart. Yan Cheng Zi You stood beside him and said: “What is this state? Can the body truly be made as withered as a dead tree, and the mind as lifeless as cold ashes? The one leaning on the table now is not the same as before.” Zi Qi replied: “Yan, how good of you to ask! Today I have lost myself—do you understand? You have heard the music of humans, but not that of the earth; you have heard the music of the earth, but not that of heaven!”
Zi You said: “Dare I ask for an explanation?” Zi Qi said: “The great earth exhales breath, which is called wind. When it does not stir, all is calm; but when it stirs, ten thousand holes roar in anger. Have you not heard its whirring sound? In the towering mountains, the cavities of hundred-span trees—some like noses, some like mouths, some like ears, some like wooden pegs, some like circles, some like mortars, some like hollows, some like puddles—gurgle, hiss, shout, sigh, cry, roar, murmur, and snap. Those ahead sing ‘Yu’ and those behind respond ‘Yong.’ A gentle wind brings soft harmony, a violent wind brings loud harmony; when the fierce wind ceases, all holes fall silent. Have you not seen the branches swaying gently?”
Zi You said: “The music of the earth is the sound of these holes, and the music of humans is the sound of bamboo flutes. Dare I ask about the music of heaven?” Zi Qi said: “The ten thousand things blow differently, each following its own nature. All are self-caused—who is the one that stirs them?”
Great understanding is broad and unrestrained, small understanding is petty and quibbling. Great words are fiery and imposing, small words are trivial and chatty. In sleep, the soul wanders; in wakefulness, the body stirs. Engaged in daily interactions, the mind battles constantly—cunning, scheming, secretive. Small fears bring trembling, great fears bring dullness. Words burst forth like crossbow bolts, aiming at right and wrong; remarks linger like oaths, clinging to victory; passions fade like autumn and winter, waning day by day; indulgence in desires makes it impossible to return to purity; the mind becomes as sealed as a knot, decaying with age; a heart near death can never be revived. Joy, anger, sorrow, delight, anxiety, regret, longing, frustration, recklessness, laziness, arrogance, and pretense—all arise like music from emptiness or mushrooms from dampness. Day and night alternate before us, yet no one knows their origin. Enough, enough! Is this not the source of all existence?
Without “that” (external things), there is no “I”; without “I,” there is nothing to grasp. This is nearly the truth, yet we do not know what causes it. It is as if there is a true ruler, but we cannot perceive its trace. We can trust its workings, yet it has no form—manifesting through effects but lacking physical shape. The hundred bones, nine orifices, and six internal organs all exist within the body—whom shall I favor? Do you delight in all of them? Is there any partiality? Are they all like subjects and servants? Can these subjects and servants not govern each other? Do they take turns as ruler and minister? Is there truly a supreme ruler within! Whether we seek its true nature or not, it neither gains nor loses its authenticity. Once we take form, we persist until death. Clashing and wearing away with external things, we rush through life like galloping horses, unable to stop—Is this not sorrowful? To toil endlessly without achieving success, to be exhausted without knowing where to return—Is this not pitiful? People call this “immortality,” but what good is it! The body changes, and the mind follows suit—Is this not the greatest sorrow? Is human life inherently so muddled? Am I alone muddled, or are there others who are not?
If we take our inherent biases as teachers, who is without a teacher? Why must only those who understand the cycles of change and follow their own hearts possess one? Fools have them too! To hold right and wrong before forming a fixed mindset is like claiming to arrive in Yue today when you set off yesterday. It is making something out of nothing. Even the divine Yu could not comprehend this—what can I do?
Words are not like the wind; those who speak have something to say. Yet what they say is never fixed. Do they truly speak? Or have they never spoken? Is their speech different from the chirping of baby birds? Or is there no difference? Why is the Dao hidden, giving rise to truth and falsehood? Why are words hidden, giving rise to right and wrong? Where does the Dao not exist? When are words unacceptable? The Dao is hidden by partial achievements; words are obscured by flowery rhetoric. Hence, Confucians and Mohists argue over right and wrong—approving what the other disapproves and disapproving what the other approves. To resolve this, nothing is better than illuminating the truth through impartiality.
All things are “that,” and all things are “this.” From the perspective of “that,” we cannot see the truth; from our own perspective, we can. Thus, “that” arises from “this,” and “this” depends on “that”—this is the doctrine of mutual generation. Yet as soon as something is born, it dies; as soon as it dies, it is reborn. What is acceptable today is unacceptable tomorrow; what is unacceptable today is acceptable tomorrow. Right affirms wrong, and wrong affirms right. Therefore, the sage does not follow this cycle but reflects all things in the heavenly light of impartiality, embracing both “that” and “this.” “This” is also “that,” and “that” is also “this.” “That” has its own right and wrong, and “this” has its own right and wrong. Are there truly “that”

巧克力戚風蛋糕製作經驗分享Chocolate Chiffon Cake Making Experience Sharing.mp3

　　
今天清晨，我嘗試做了巧克力戚風蛋糕，比較特別的是，這次的食譜是請AI帮忙設計的。
我用可可粉製作，第一次嘗試加熱水或溫水來溶解可可粉；以往我的食譜裡，液體只用橄欖油和牛奶，而這次AI建議的做法能讓蛋糕更濕潤，實際做出來效果確實很好。
關於打發效果，以往除了純蛋白打發，我還會加一點泡打粉，這次的食譜裡額外加了一點點小蘇打粉，蛋糕幾乎沒有出現坍塌的情況，效果很滿意。
還有一個新發現：一般食譜都會說做蛋糕、餅乾要用低筋麵粉，這樣成品更鬆軟，確實是這樣，但我發現沒有低筋麵粉時，用中筋麵粉摻和，甚至純用中筋麵粉，做出來的蛋糕口感差異不大，也不會失敗。之前還看過一位宴會甜點廚師分享，高筋麵粉加低筋麵粉混合，就能變成中筋麵粉，這也是個很實用的小技巧。
其實做點心的很多經驗，只有實際操作才能體會到，並沒絕對的「必須怎樣」，但一般食譜裡通常不會記載這類靈活調整的方法。
有一次我做芋頭戚風蛋糕，所有材料都仔細稱量了，蛋白打發的狀況也很好，放入烤箱後兩秒鐘，我突然發現忘了加橄欖油，一滴油都沒放，當時心想肯定要失敗了，還想把蛋糕拿出來重新處理，但蛋糕已經放入烤箱開始反應，擔心取出後攪拌會消氣，就決定靜待結果。没想到最後烤出來的蛋糕，外形和之前成功的戚風蛋糕沒兩樣，吃起來口感也不錯，不會太硬或太乾，依舊挺鬆軟的，我甚至吃不出来和放油版本的差別，或許是我的口味沒那麼挑剔。原來蛋糕在無油的狀況下也能做成功，後來上網查詢，發現確實有無油蛋糕的食譜，而我算是因疏忽意外成功了。
最近我很喜歡和AI合作設計食譜，雖然世上幾乎所有食譜都有人做過，但我們容易習慣既定模式。後來我讓AI幫我調製有不同風味、風格，或是加入以往不常用材料的食譜，比如鹰嘴豆——它富含優質蛋白質，可取代蛋白打出類似蛋白霜的泡沫，而且能做出純素的成品，AI設計的這個食譜我非常喜歡。
目前我還在研究這款純素蛋糕，也嘗試做過幾次，因為加入了一些創意元素，沒有完全按照食譜操作，蛋糕並沒有發得很好，但確實有發酵，有點像發糕的口感，算是一款成功的點心，介於戚風蛋糕和發糕之間。之前帶給獅子的婆婆吃，她很喜歡——婆婆後來胃口越來越差，聽她孫子說，婆婆會拒絕進食，一口水都能含在嘴裡很久不吞，態度溫和卻很固執。但我帶去的自煮飲料和這款全植物性的鹰嘴豆蛋糕，她竟然一整塊都吃光了，我真的非常感動。
總之，做點心沒有絕對的標準，很多靈活的做法和意外的驚喜，只有親自嘗試才能發現。
迷你杯子蛋糕（約15份）
蛋糕體材料
- 低筋麵粉45g、可可粉15g、玉米澱粉5g、泡打粉2g、小蘇打1g、鹽0.5g
- 細砂糖45g（蛋白32.5g + 蛋黃12.5g）
- 雞蛋3個（分蛋）
- 牛奶40ml、玉米油30ml、熱水25ml
烘烤條件
預熱170℃，迷你紙杯裝七分滿，烤10-12分鐘，以牙籤測試無黏糊即可
製作步驟
1. 粉類混合過篩；蛋黃加蛋黃糖、油、奶拌至乳化，再加入粉類拌至無乾粉
2. 蛋白加檸檬汁，分次加蛋白糖，打至硬性發泡（尖頭直立不彎）
3. 取1/3蛋白霜拌入蛋黃糊鬆化，再分2次與剩餘蛋白霜翻拌均勻（勿打圈）
4. 倒入紙杯、震去氣泡，烤後出爐倒扣涼透
This morning, I tried making a chocolate chiffon cake—what’s special is that this recipe was designed with AI’s help.
I used cocoa powder for this one, and it was my first time dissolving cocoa powder with hot or warm water. In my past recipes, I only used olive oil and milk as liquids, but this AI-recommended method made the cake much moister, and the result really turned out great.
As for whipping: before, I’d whip just egg whites plus a bit of baking powder, but this recipe added a tiny bit of baking soda. The cake barely collapsed at all—I was really happy with how it turned out.
Here’s another new discovery: most recipes say to use cake flour for cakes and cookies to keep them fluffy (which is true), but I found that if I don’t have cake flour, mixing all-purpose flour (or even using just all-purpose flour) makes barely any difference in texture, and it still works. I once saw a banquet pastry chef share that mixing bread flour and cake flour gives all-purpose flour—super useful tip.
A lot of baking lessons only sink in when you actually do it; there’s no absolute “must-do” rule. But recipes usually don’t mention these flexible adjustments.
Once, I made a taro chiffon cake: I measured all ingredients carefully, whipped the egg whites perfectly, but 2 seconds after putting it in the oven, I realized I’d forgotten the olive oil—not a drop. I thought it was definitely a failure and almost took it out to fix it, but the cake was already reacting in the oven. I worried stirring it would deflate the air, so I let it be. Surprisingly, the finished cake looked just like my successful ones, and the texture was good—still fluffy, not too hard or dry. I could barely tell the difference from the oil version (maybe I’m not a picky taster). Turns out cakes can work without oil! Later, I checked online and found oil-free cake recipes—I’d accidentally succeeded thanks to a mistake.
Lately, I love collaborating with AI on recipes. Even though almost every recipe exists somewhere, we get stuck in routines. So I had AI create recipes with different flavors, styles, or less common ingredients—like chickpeas. They’re high in good protein, can replace egg whites to make meringue-like foam, and work for vegan treats. I loved the recipe AI designed for this.
I’m still experimenting with this vegan cake. I’ve tried it a few times, but I added creative twists instead of following the recipe exactly—so it didn’t rise much, but it did ferment, with a texture between chiffon cake and steamed sponge cake. It was still a successful treat. I brought it to my friend Lion’s grandma, who loved it: her appetite had gotten really bad, and Lion said she’d refuse to eat—even hold a sip of water in her mouth for ages, gentle but stubborn. But she ate the whole piece of my plant-based chickpea cake (plus the drink I made) —I was so touched.
All in all, there’s no absolute standard for baking. A lot of flexible tricks and happy accidents only come from trying it yourself.
Mini Cupcakes (≈15 Servings)
Cake Batter Ingredients
- 45g cake flour, 15g cocoa powder, 5g cornstarch, 2g baking powder, 1g baking soda, 0.5g salt
- 45g fine sugar (32.5g for egg whites + 12.5g for egg yolks)
- 3 eggs (separated)
- 40ml milk, 30ml corn oil, 25ml hot water
Baking Instructions
Preheat oven to 170°C. Fill mini cupcake liners 70% full. Bake 10–12 minutes; test with a toothpick—if it comes out clean, it’s done.
Steps
1. Mix and sift dry ingredients. Whisk egg yolks with yolk sugar, oil, and milk until emulsified; stir in dry ingredients until no lumps remain.
2. Add lemon juice to egg whites; add white sugar in batches, whip until stiff peaks form (tips stand straight).
3. Fold 1/3 of the meringue into the yolk batter to lighten it; then fold in the remaining meringue in 2 batches (do not stir in circles—this deflates air).
4. Pour into liners, tap to release air bubbles. Bake, then invert the cupcakes to cool completely.

陪他走過那些「特殊」的愛好，是我最珍貴的修行Accompanying him in his unique passions is my most cherished lesson.mp3

　　Hello everybody，今天我想要分享我兒子的故事。
他目前為止，人生曾經經歷過幾個執著的階段，每一個時期都有不同的興趣，而且非常執著。要怎麼說呢？算是他的 hobby 呢？是他的興趣呢？或是他的習慣呢？他每一陣子就會有一個 period of time，持續做一件事情。
在他很小的時候，最早發現他的持續行為是把玩安全帽。因為他很喜歡跟爸爸出去玩，那時候還沒辦法自己戴安全帽，就總是把玩它。安全帽有個扣環，按一下就會打開，他可以連續不斷地重複開關這個動作，大概能玩20分鐘以上，一直不間斷。那個年紀的小孩，打開那個暗扣並不容易，需要一些力氣和手指操作的技巧。一開始我覺得有點奇怪，但後來想說不管他做什麼、玩什麼，我都支持，只要他能透過遊戲學到一個能力就好，所以就放任他玩，沒有阻止。
後來因為我最近喜歡看書，就試著去誠品書局買了一本書給他。那時候我發現他好像喜歡聽歌，就挑了一本英文童書，裡面都是英文歌。買之前我先唱了幾首給他聽，感覺他很喜歡。一方面我覺得透過歌曲也能學一些英文，挺有意思的，就買了那本書，那是我第一次買書給他。
那時候爸爸在北京創作，不在家裡，我每天都會唱書裡的歌給他聽。很有意思的是，他早上睡醒第一件事，不是一般孩子會做的事，而是去找到那本書，開始翻閱。他看書的方式也跟一般人不太一樣，不是慢慢看，而是一頁一頁快速翻完整本，翻完又重複一遍一遍地翻。那時候他應該還不識字，就連現在他已經高中年紀了，我都不確定他到底識不識字。但我覺得他有興趣，會主動在床頭找到這本書，就是有意識地想要學習，所以那時候我很開心，跟爸爸說：「這個寶貝好像是個喜歡看書的小孩。」因為我小時候也喜歡看書，所以特別開心。
不過後來他慢慢出現了一些自閉症的狀況，其實他翻書的那個階段，還沒有這些狀況。我們一開始只是疑似他有自閉症，爸爸覺得疑似的時間點，是他帶兒子回台灣打疫苗的時候。爸爸親自抱著他去醫院打了疫苗，之後就發現他有了一些變化：眼神從原來的明亮慢慢失去了光彩，一些自閉症的行為也逐漸出現。當然，這也可能和生活中其他事情疊加有關，比如寶寶回來後曾被帶到雲林，整天狂哭，回來後自閉症的狀態就越來越明顯。但爸爸堅持認為，很有可能是打了疫苗後才爆發的，因為那種變化帶給他的感覺太強烈了，他永遠忘不了是自己親手帶兒子去打疫苗，之後才發生了這些種種變化。
我那時候有點搞不清楚狀況，每天上班，家裡有婆婆照顧小孩，婆婆是優良保母，我也就沒有去深究背後的原因。現在回想起來，或許真的和爸爸說的那樣。自閉症是一種不太好處理的狀況，目前全世界的定義是，還沒有找到任何藥物可以治療它。This is，所以我們就配合台灣的醫療，對他進行各種早期的輔助和介入，家人說要帶他去做什麼治療，就帶他去，我沒空的時候，就是先生帶他去。
好像有點講偏了，回到他的執著上。他有一陣子很喜歡撕書，這真的很讓人頭痛。我買給他的那本英文歌曲書，同樣的版本，我買了三本，還另外影印了兩份，就是為了讓他撕。他把書撕得很碎，我每天都要像拼拼圖一樣把書補好——我本來就不喜歡玩拼圖，覺得把完好的東西弄碎再拼起來是浪費生命，但為了兒子，也為了自己能繼續用那本書，每天都要花很多時間修補他撕碎的書。有些實在修補不了的，就只能再買一本新的，所以我家裡有很多本一模一樣的書。再加上我東西容易不見，就希望學校、家裡、床邊各放一本，方便取用。
但撕書還不是最辛苦的，有一陣子他迷上了米——就是碗裡的米。這段時期簡直像一場噩夢。他會半夜爬起來，走到放米的地方，打開容器把米抓起來撒得滿地都是，廚房、客廳到處都是。我們家有藝術家成員，東西本來就多，米撒在地上、桌上，和其他東西混在一起，清理起來要花費極大的力氣。而且米是食物，他把一桶米倒掉，我們也捨不得全部丟掉，只能把還能用的包起來，用篩子篩乾淨留下來。最可怕的是，他有時候會半夜三點起來撒米，我第二天還要上班，卻得清理到天亮，真的非常煎熬。
灑米也就算了，他還會動爸爸買的中藥。爸爸很喜歡買中藥，有些是科學中藥，一罐就要好幾百，甚至五六百、六七百塊，一大罐可以吃很久。他那陣子不僅玩米，還會把整罐新買的中藥打開，倒得滿地都是。藥粉比米更難清理，不僅會飄揚，碰到水還會凝結，而且價格又貴，弄得一團糟。那時候我還要處理他弄亂的阿華田——就是那種巧克力味的麥芽飲料，甜味的，遇水很容易融化凝結，他倒在地上後，掃也掃不乾淨，用水沖又會整塊粘在地上，我花了一天多的時間才清理完。那段時間，我覺得自己就像辛德瑞拉，每天處理完兒子搗的亂，還要去上班，能撐下來沒瘋掉，真的覺得是老天厚待。
我有時候會想到畢加索，他一生中有藍色時期、玫瑰色時期，我覺得我兒子也有這樣的「時期」：第一個是玩米的時期，持續了一年以上；第二個是開車門的時期，這個興趣持續了兩三年，真的很讓人頭痛。他開的是停在路上的車門，開了之後還不關。有些鄰居因為送貨方便，車門不會鎖，他打開車門後，下雨時車裡會淋濕，有時候還會影響行人，讓幾個鄰居非常困擾——比如有設計公司、送食品的貨運公司，還有擺地攤的商家，都受過他的影響。
我還記得有一次，我帶著兒子在路上走，突然看到一隻超大的烏龜，就像動物園裡那種最大的陸龜，我們都被吸引了。結果烏龜的主人，一個在菜市場擺地攤的女生，認出了我兒子，說：「原來就是你兒子，上次把我們停在路邊的小貨車車門打開了！」她先生那時候正在擺地攤，接到鄰居電話說車門沒關，只好把攤子全部收起來回去關門，氣得半死，還說再這樣就要報警了。因為這隻烏龜，我們算是「被抓個正著」，我也覺得很不應該，就常常特意去她的攤位買菜，多買一些，希望能獲得她的原諒，有時候還會把自己做的手作分給她。
還有一次，我左手牽著小兒子，右手牽著他，經過一輛進口名車，他突然用右手打開了人家的車門。車裡的年輕人氣得衝下車，破口大罵，一開始以為是小偷，後來看到是個小孩，還是個看起來聰明伶俐、長得可愛的小孩，更氣了。他妻子也罵道：「你幹什麼？怎麼可以開我們的車門？」我趕快拉著兩個孩子，按照弟子規裡的傳統文化，跟人家90度敬禮道歉，解釋說：「對不起，我的這個兒子是重度自閉症，沒有語言，也不會講話，在念特教班。」但那個年輕人並不諒解，還是非常生氣，拳頭都快揮過來了，後來用力關上車門。我嚇得拉著孩子趕緊跑回家，本來要買菜也不敢買了，跟爸爸說這件事的時候還心有餘悸。
還有一次，我去買洛神花——洛神花的季節很短，之前聽料理達人說看到就要全部買下來，那個賣洛神花的老太太也很辛苦，我就想把她的洛神花全部買下來。她包裝的時候，因為量比較多，兒子趁我不注意偷偷溜掉了。我回頭發現他不見了，嚇得要死，又不敢馬上跟家裡說，只能先自己找，找不到就報警，幸運的是警察後來找到了他。後來在路上遇到那個賣洛神花的老太太，她跟我說：「你兒子剛剛跑掉了，沿著這條路把每輛車的門都打開了，不管大車小車，你真的要管好他，太危險了。」
那時候在我們家附近，我常常被鄰居教導怎麼教孩子，甚至不認識的人也會過來指點，有時候真的覺得快要爆炸了。但我也知道，自己確實需要學習怎麼照顧這樣的孩子，直到現在我都還在摸索。
不過也很幸運，因為兒子，我們認識了很多善良的鄰居，其中最讓我感動的是孫師傅——我覺得他是全世界最好的鄰居。孫師傅是水電行老闆，有一輛貨車，我們家對面馬路的藥房旁邊就是他的店。一開始我兒子總是去開他的貨車門，有時候還會衝到樓下打開車門，再衝回來，一副很開心的樣子。我覺得很不好意思，就帶了伴手禮去跟孫師傅道歉，跟他說明兒子是自閉症，喜歡開車門，希望他能諒解。孫師傅話不多，只是看看我和兒子，點了點頭。
後來我發現，兒子有時候衝到樓下，回來的時候手裡會拿著一塊切片草莓蛋糕，或者一顆超大的水梨——那種水梨我買過最貴的一顆要200塊，都是孫師傅給他的。我跑去感謝孫師傅，送他手工皂、紫雲膏這類東西，他都不收，說自己有皮膚病，不能亂擦東西；送他吃的，他又說飲食很講究，不能吃糖，總有各種理由拒絕，反而會送我大李子，還特意說：「我不是送你的，你不要搞錯，我是送安喆的，OK！」我不收都不行。
有一次下大雨，兒子又衝下去打開了孫師傅的車門，我趕緊拿抹布想幫他擦乾車門內側被淋濕的地方，孫師傅趕忙說：「不用不用，等一下我來擦就好。」我忍不住說：「孫師傅，我知道你疼安喆，願意讓他開車門，但下雨天你能不能把門鎖起來？不然車裡淋濕了可能會損壞。」他卻說：「你不知道我就是故意不鎖，要讓他開車門的嗎？」那時候我才終於明白，孫師傅是特意準備了一輛不鎖門的車，讓兒子想開的時候就能下樓去開，這樣兒子心裡得到了滿足，就不會跑去整條街開別人的車門了。意識到孫師傅的用心，我真的好想哭。
孫師傅看起來就是一個瘦瘦小小、常常打著赤膊的普通獨居老人，牆上貼著耶穌基督的畫像，應該是基督徒，而我是佛教徒，但他卻這麼照顧我兒子。我們一直想找機會報答他，剛好後來我們家廚房漏水，琉璃台下面一直滴水，找了5間附近的水電行，都說難度太高，處理不了。沒辦法，我只好去找孫師傅。他說他們抓漏收費很貴，還建議我找附近更便宜的，但我堅持要他來處理。
孫師傅後來派了師傅過來，我特意買了最好的點心，烤了麵包、蛋糕招待他們，想好好感謝他們。本來要5天的工程，師傅們3天就趕工完成了，把牆壁敲開，接好漏水的水管，再把牆壁修復得很漂亮，非常非常 perfect。結賬的時候，我跟孫師傅說希望他告訴我真實費用，畢竟是這麼大的工程，他說大概4萬塊，還特意補充：「這個錢我幾乎全部給師傅，我其實沒收到什麼錢。」我真的很感動，不知道自己和安喆是什麼福報，能遇到這麼好的人。
後來我跟孫師傅分享了自己的經歷，說有個叫喜樂園的教會免費照顧了兒子一年，每個禮拜有一天可以帶兒子去那裡做手作、聽演講，還能帶吃的喝的回家，有時候還有小禮物，所以我每年都會準備50份小禮物送給喜樂園的人。或許是理解了我的為人，後來我送他一些小東西，他終於肯收下了，也會經常回贈我一些他的東西，不再像以前那樣什麼都拒絕。
經過了玩米、開車門的時期，第三個階段是他把衣服弄破的時期。後來他不怎麼開車門了，也很少去孫師傅那裡了，但到了國中階段，他開始把衣服、褲子弄破，尤其是學校的制服，我們不得不經常買新的。除此之外，他還因為焦慮出現了尿褲子的情況——那時候他玩米玩得太誇張，先生會修理他，他一被修理就焦慮，然後就尿褲子。其實他兩歲就不用包尿布了，但那陣子一天在學校可能尿濕10件褲子，長褲和衣服都不便宜，我每天要帶一個超大的包包，把他尿濕的褲子拿回來洗，晚上還要幫婆婆換尿布、洗她的褲子，那段時間真的太可怕了。
每天下班後我都沒時間馬上洗衣服，因為要照顧家人，後來只好花6000塊換了一個不會吵人的洗衣機馬達，半夜起來洗衣服，才度過了那個黑暗的時期。我跟先生說不要再打兒子了，不然他焦慮尿褲子，最後辛苦的還是我，要一直洗褲子。後來尿褲子的情況慢慢結束了，但弄破衣服的行為還在繼續，內褲、外褲、衣服到處都是破洞，他穿起來就像丐帮的人，明明長得很帥。一開始我們只能不斷買新的，後來先生用縫紉機幫他縫補，衣服上到處都是補丁，他就穿著帶補丁的衣服上學。現在他已經不太弄破衣服了，偶爾只是抽掉幾個線頭。
我講到這裡，不知道是不是花了太久時間，但希望能完整地把這些回憶記錄下來。Thank you everybody in the listening，謝謝我自己的勇敢分享。
Hello everyone. Today, I want to share my son’s story.
Up to now, his life has gone through several phases of intense fixation, each marked by a distinct interest that he clung to with remarkable persistence. How should I put it? Were these his hobbies? His passions? Or perhaps his habits? Every so often, there would be a period of time when he would repeat one single activity over and over again.
When he was very little, the first persistent behavior we noticed was his fascination with playing with a helmet. He loved going out with his dad back then, and since he couldn’t put on the helmet by himself yet, he would always fiddle with it. The helmet had a buckle that popped open with a press, and he could keep flipping it open and shut continuously for more than 20 minutes without stopping. For a child his age, pressing that hidden buckle wasn’t easy—it required a certain amount of strength and fine motor skills. At first, I thought it was a bit odd, but later I told myself that I would support whatever he chose to do or play with, as long as he could learn a new skill through the activity. So I let him be, never trying to stop him.
Later on, since I’d gotten into reading around that time, I decided to head to Eslite Bookstore and buy a book for him. I’d noticed he seemed to enjoy listening to songs, so I picked out an English children’s book filled with nursery rhymes. Before purchasing it, I sang a few of the songs to him, and he seemed to really like them. I also thought it would be fun for him to pick up some English through the songs, so I bought the book—it was the first book I ever bought for him.
His dad was in Beijing for an art residency at the time and wasn’t home, so I sang the book’s songs to him every single day. What was interesting was that the first thing he did when he woke up in the morning wasn’t what most kids would do—instead, he would go find that book and start flipping through its pages. His way of “reading” was unlike anyone else’s; he didn’t take his time to look at the content, but rather flipped through the entire book page by page quickly, then repeated the process again and again. He couldn’t have been able to read back then, and even now that he’s in high school, I’m still not entirely sure if he can recognize characters or not. But the fact that he was interested enough to actively seek out the book by his bedside told me he was consciously trying to learn. I was over the moon about it and told his dad: “Our little guy seems to be a child who loves reading.” I was especially happy because I’d loved reading when I was a kid too.
However, as time went on, he gradually began showing signs of autism. Strangely enough, those signs hadn’t appeared yet during the phase when he was obsessed with flipping through the book. At first, we only suspected he might be autistic. The moment his dad started having doubts was when he took our son back to Taiwan to get a vaccine shot. Dad personally carried him to the hospital for the injection, and after that day, he noticed some changes in our son: the brightness faded from his eyes little by little, and autistic behaviors began to emerge one after another. Of course, this could have been the result of other overlapping factors in his life. For instance, after the baby came back from the hospital, he was taken to Yunlin, where he cried nonstop all day long. When he returned home, his autistic traits became even more pronounced. But Dad insists that the symptoms most likely erupted after the vaccine shot—because the shift in our son was so sudden and stark that he will never forget the guilt of being the one who took him to get that injection, only to watch those changes unfold afterward.
I was a bit lost and confused back then. I was working every day, and my mother-in-law, who was an incredibly attentive caregiver, took care of him at home, so I didn’t delve too deeply into the root cause of his condition. Looking back now, maybe what Dad said was true after all. Autism is an extremely challenging condition to manage. Globally speaking, there is still no medication that can cure it to this day. So we followed the guidance of Taiwan’s medical system and sought out all kinds of early intervention and support services for him. Whenever the family suggested a therapy or treatment, we would take him to try it. When I couldn’t find the time, it was my husband who stepped in to take him.
I seem to have gotten sidetracked a bit. Let’s get back to talking about his obsessions. There was a period when he was really into tearing books apart, and it was such a headache. I bought three copies of that same English songbook I’d gotten him earlier, plus two extra photocopied versions—all just so he could have books to tear. He would shred the pages into tiny pieces, and every day I had to piece the book back together like solving a jigsaw puzzle. I’d never liked jigsaw puzzles in the first place; I thought taking something intact, breaking it apart, and then putting it back together was a waste of time. But for my son’s sake, and so I could keep using the book to sing to him, I spent hours every day mending the torn pages. When some copies were beyond repair, I had no choice but to buy new ones. That’s why our house ended up with so many identical books. On top of that, I’m someone who tends to misplace things easily, so I made sure to keep a copy at school, at home, and by his bedside for easy access.
But tearing books wasn’t the most difficult phase we went through. There was a time when he became utterly fixated on rice—yes, the rice we eat in bowls. That period felt like a total nightmare. He would get up in the middle of the night, walk over to where we stored the rice, open the container, and scoop handfuls of rice to scatter all over the floor. Rice would end up everywhere: the kitchen, the living room—every corner of the house. Our family has artists in it, so our home was already cluttered with all sorts of things. Cleaning up the scattered rice, mixed as it was with other items, took an enormous amount of effort. What’s more, rice is food, and we couldn’t bear to throw away an entire bucket of it just because he’d spilled it. So we had to gather up the salvageable grains, sift them clean, and set them aside for later use. The worst part was that he would sometimes get up as early as 3 a.m. to scatter the rice. I still had to go to work the next day, yet I would end up cleaning until dawn. It was an absolutely grueling time.
As if scattering rice wasn’t enough, he also started messing with the traditional Chinese medicine his dad had bought. Dad is really into TCM; some of these herbal powders come in large jars that cost hundreds of New Taiwan Dollars—sometimes four, five, even six or seven hundred—and one jar can last for a very long time. During that phase, he didn’t just play with rice; he would also pry open brand-new jars of TCM powder and dump the contents all over the floor. Cleaning up powdered herbs was even harder than cleaning rice: the powder would float in the air, and if it got wet, it would clump together into a sticky mess. Not to mention how expensive those herbs were—watching them get wasted like that was heartbreaking. And to make matters worse, he also got into the habit of tampering with our Ovaltine, that chocolate-flavored malt drink. It’s sweet and dissolves instantly when it touches water, so when he poured it on the floor, sweeping it up was impossible. Washing it away with water only made it stick to the ground like glue. I once spent more than a full day just cleaning up an Ovaltine spill. During that time, I felt just like Cinderella—cleaning up my son’s messes day in and day out, then dragging myself off to work. I truly feel that it was a blessing from heaven that I managed to get through it all without losing my mind.
Sometimes I think about Picasso—how his life was divided into his Blue Period and Rose Period—and it strikes me that my son has had similar “periods” of his own. The first was his Rice Phase, which lasted for over a year. The second was his Door-Opening Phase, an obsession that went on for two or three years and caused us no end of trouble. He wasn’t just opening doors inside our house—he was opening the doors of cars parked along the street, and then leaving them wide open afterward. Some neighbors, who kept their car doors unlocked for convenience when making deliveries, found their car interiors soaked by rain after he’d opened the doors. Other times...

期待聲音的安靜陪伴The Quiet Companionship of a Voice.mp3

我是一位媽媽。
這個節目記錄我和自閉症兒子的日常生活。
不是悲傷的故事，
而是學習、陪伴，和愛。
希望在此的內容不需沉重、不醫療、不勵志壓人，適合長輩、一般民眾、或許跟我一樣家裡住著來自不熟悉星球的小王子家庭，或是擁有其他特殊天使的父母們！
希望我的聲音或文字，可以帶給這個地球多一點點溫柔陪伴的力量，和一點點依稀隱晦的光。
謝謝你願意撥冗聆聽，讓不同的生命經驗有機會流淌。
Welcome to Bamboo: Autistic.
My name is Bamboo.
I am a mother.
This podcast records the everyday life I share with my autistic son.
It is not a story of sadness,
but a story of learning, companionship, and love.
I hope the content here is not heavy, not medical, and not inspirational in a pressuring way.
It is meant for elders, for the general public,
and perhaps for families like mine—
families living with a little prince from an unfamiliar planet,
or parents caring for other special angels.
I hope my voice, or my words,
can bring a little more gentle companionship to this world,
and a faint, quiet light.
Thank you for taking the time to listen,
and for allowing different life experiences to gently flow.

在意外裡重拾可能性Rediscovering Possibilities in Unexpected Moments.mp3

從意外重拾可能性，把聲音變成生活中重要的分享開始，我才真正重新認識自己、暢談自己。真的很幸運，能有這樣的管道，遇見值得信任的人願意聽我傾訴。但有些事並不適合對每個人說，別人也未必有空聽，聽了也未必有意義。可傾訴這件事對我來說特別重要，心裡有事，就像堆放一個包裹，越積越滿，心裡就沒有足夠的空間讓「氣息」流動，純屬個人感受。
昨天沒錄成播客，我給自己定了期許：每天找一點時間，一分鐘也好、五分鐘也罷，錄一小段播客。通常清晨起床時我最有感覺，有時候腦袋裡會突然冒出來一個能讓生命變得更美好的想法。我想感謝宇宙大自然給我的回饋，因難找到能安然傾訴的對象。
或許可能是過世的公公給我指引——自從他去世後，我總感覺被一股強大的力量呵護著。之前沒這種強烈的感覺，現在能感受到他一直在善意地關照我和整個家。
今天早上起床，我有個特別強烈的念頭，想把一個想法分享出去。但當時手機不在身邊，等拿完手機回來，那個想法就像煙霧一樣慢慢散去了，不過依稀記得大概意思：我們每個人都是自己創造成了現在的樣子，或許不是自己想要的，但终究是自己的選擇。
這個創造的過程，外表來看很多來自原生家庭。但我聽《賽斯心法》說，我們來到這個世界前，靈魂會選擇自己的原生家庭。我是虔誠的佛教徒，不確定這種說法是否屬實，但覺得可作為參考。我們的想法、做法固然能歸納部分來自原生家庭的影響，但同一個原生家庭也會培養出截然不同的人。有些人生在「一手爛牌」的原生家庭，卻活成了美好又卓越的模樣；也有人在類似的家庭裡，延續了負面的生命狀態。包括我們所處的環境、做出的決定，都讓我們變成了現在的自己。除此之外，還有一種無法解釋的力量在影響著我們。
比如我，就來自充滿愛的原生家庭。父母都是老師，給了我能想像到的、世界上最好的愛的教育。他們的想法未必百分百正確，但出發點不乏厚重的愛，這一點毋庸置疑。可我內心深處，是個非常嚮往自由的靈魂。妹妹說我雖然讀了很多書，卻沒什麼生活常識，還說有空每天教我一點關於常識的必要；姐姐從小到現在都覺得我「怪」，連和恐龍廢墟館長見面時都坦誠說我這妹妹很怪。我和妹妹都公認姐姐是全世界最好的姐姐，她對我們好到幾乎沒有邊界。父親小時候也曾跟我說「你就做個正常人，過普通生活就好，不要那麼特別，好嗎？」，母親則總說「妳這個樣能活到現在，真是老天保佑」。
據父親說，我的爺爺是獨子，出生在日本時代，家裡贫苦到奶奶曾想賣了他，把他背到大街叫賣，幸虧沒成。爺爺從小聰敏帥氣，品學兼優，後來成了老師，年老後非常靜默。大學時修學日文，想請教日文極好的爺爺，甚至每次請教後準備了幾百元的酬勞做束脩，他只收過一次就不肯再要，卻依然願意教我。父親說，爺爺用行動教了他很多道理：有次家裡困難，爺爺帶著父親原本要去討債，看到對方處境更難，就燒了借據，說「他們的困難比我們大得多」。
父親後來成了國小老師，收入普通卻多才多藝：學過中醫，幫人治病卻無論親疏從不收錢，武術厲害卻深藏不露，懂針灸、推拿和草藥，還會免費幫陌生人看診，甚至給家境困難的人送藥材。我結婚後每次回娘家，父親總以「東西太重」為由開車送我回來，路上的一小時裡，他會跟我講他過去日常智慧運用和想法，他是父親也是我人生極為重要的心靈導師。
我是虔誠的佛教徒，受父母影響，後來才理解佛教是最高等的哲學。上淨下空老法師說「量大則福大」，心量越大，得到的福越廣。曾仕強老師也說，環境和心都要「空」，福報才能進來。我想起父母用畢生積蓄給我買的工作室，結婚後變成了儲藏室，直到父母要修電梯可能來住，我才下定決心清理，把作品以贈送的方式處理，捨不得卻也只能這樣。
人是有限的，我們會向無限的對象學習，遇到的每個人不管是引導還是抑制我們，都是為了讓生命變得更有力量。很多人走不出困境，是因為歸咎於外界，卻忘了自己的選擇才是關鍵。今天就到這裡了，謝謝。
Rediscovering Possibilities in Unexpected Moments
在意外裡重拾可能性
From rediscovering possibilities in unexpected moments to turning voices into an important way of sharing in life, I have truly come to know and express myself again. I am so fortunate to have such a channel and to meet trustworthy people who are willing to listen to me. Yet some things are not suitable to share with everyone—others may not have the time to listen, and even if they do, it may not make much sense. But talking about my innermost thoughts is particularly important to me. Having unresolved matters in my heart is like piling up parcels; the more they accumulate, the less room there is for "vitality" to flow. This is purely my personal feeling.
I failed to record the podcast yesterday, so I made a commitment to myself: every day, find a little time—even just one minute or five minutes—to record a short segment. I usually feel most inspired early in the morning, when ideas that can make life more fulfilling suddenly pop into my head. I want to thank the universe and nature for this gift, for it is not easy to find someone with whom I can speak my mind with peace of mind.
Perhaps it is the guidance from my late father-in-law—ever since he passed away, I have always felt embraced by a powerful force of protection. I never had such a strong feeling before, but now I can sense that he has been watching over me and the entire family with kindness.
This morning when I woke up, I had an intense urge to share an idea. But my phone was not by my side then. By the time I fetched it, that idea had faded away like smoke, though I vaguely remembered its gist: each of us has shaped ourselves into who we are today. It may not be who we wanted to be, but it is ultimately the result of our own choices.
On the surface, much of this shaping process stems from our family of origin. Yet I heard in Seth Material that our souls choose our family of origin before we come into this world. As a devout Buddhist, I am not sure if this is true, but I think it can serve as a thought-provoking reference. While our ways of thinking and acting are undoubtedly influenced by our family of origin, the same family can raise people who are vastly different from one another. Some are born into a "terrible hand" of a family yet grow up to live beautiful and extraordinary lives; others, in similar environments, perpetuate a negative life trajectory. Our circumstances, our decisions—all of these have made us who we are now. Beyond that, there is also an inexplicable force that shapes us.
Take me, for example. I come from a family filled with love. Both my parents were teachers, and they gave me the best possible education rooted in love that one could imagine. Their views may not have been 100% correct, but there is no doubt that their intentions were grounded in profound love. Deep down, however, I am a soul that yearns for freedom. My younger sister says that despite having read many books, I lack basic life skills, and she even offers to teach me a little bit of practical knowledge every day if she has time. My elder sister has always thought I am "weird" since we were little—she even openly told the curator of the Dinosaur Ruins Museum that her younger sister is quite odd. Both my younger sister and I agree that our elder sister is the best sister in the world; she loves us unconditionally without any boundaries. When I was little, my father once said to me, "Can you just be a normal person, live an ordinary life, and stop being so different?" My mother, on the other hand, always says, "It’s truly a blessing from heaven that you’ve made it this far."
According to my father, my grandfather was an only child, born during the Japanese colonial period. His family was so poor that my great-grandmother once wanted to sell him—she carried him to the street to peddle him, but fortunately, it never happened. My grandfather was bright and handsome from a young age, excelling both academically and morally. Later, he became a teacher and led a simple and upright life. When I was in college, I studied Japanese and wanted to seek guidance from my grandfather, who was extremely proficient in the language. I even offered to pay him for the lessons, but he only accepted the money once and refused to take any more afterward, yet he still willingly taught me. My father said that my grandfather taught him many life lessons through his actions: once, when the family was struggling financially, grandfather took my father with him to collect a debt. But upon seeing how much harder the debtor’s life was, he burned the IOU and said, "Their hardships are far greater than ours."
My father later became an elementary school teacher. Though his income was modest, he was a man of many talents: he studied traditional Chinese medicine and treated people for free regardless of their relationship to him; he was highly skilled in martial arts but kept it low-key; he knew acupuncture, tuina massage, and herbal medicine, and even offered free consultations to strangers, sometimes giving medicinal herbs to families in need. After I got married, every time I returned to my parents’ home, my father would always drive me back, saying that my luggage was too heavy. During that one-hour drive, he would share with me his daily wisdom and insights. He is not only my father but also an extremely important spiritual mentor in my life.
As a devout Buddhist, influenced by my parents, I later came to understand that Buddhism is the highest form of philosophy. The Venerable Jingkong once said, "The broader your mind, the greater your blessings." Zeng Shiqiang also said that both our environment and our mind need to be "empty" to allow blessings to flow in. I remember that my parents used their life savings to buy me a studio, which turned into a storage room after I got married. It was not until my parents planned to install an elevator and possibly move in that I finally made up my mind to clean it out, giving away my works. It was hard to part with them, but I had no other choice.
Human beings are finite, yet we learn from the infinite. Every person we encounter—whether they guide us or hold us back—comes into our lives to make us stronger. Many people cannot escape their predicaments because they blame external factors, forgetting that their own choices are the key. That’s all for today. Thank you.
 

關於愛自己與自我成長的感悟Reflections on Loving Oneself and Personal Growth.mp3

　　
剛剛我做了一件非常開心的事情。很多人告訴我要愛自己，我也常常跟一些我覺得心疼的人說要愛自己，可是事實上，我相信這輩子可能從來沒有真正知道什麼是愛自己。
因為我被教導的、我認知的，還有我感受到的，都是要盡可能去愛別人、愛這個世界，讓大家都覺得更好。當然，自己也會有一些自私的地方，或者會有一些疑惑的地方。比如說，我覺得當我努力去愛別人或愛這個世界時，卻感覺不到別人能感受到這份真正的誠懇——或許是對方沒有展現誠意，或許是對方覺得理所當然，又或者覺得本來就該這樣，也可能覺得你給的並不是他真正想要的，甚至不是真的那麼好。
總之，當一個人很努力想為別人付出時，不見得別人都能接得住。那這個時候，我應該做怎樣的選擇？難道要覺得遺憾、悲傷或後悔嗎？我懷疑自己從小到大，並沒有真正深刻的後悔過。因為後來學會為自己所有的決定負責，也相信所有決定都在為我們的生命創造美好的經驗。這些經驗就算需要付出一些辛苦的代價，最後也會是美好的——因為我們能承擔這些代價，並在付出的過程中讓自己變得更好。
而我很開心的是，我終於下定決心買了「即夢」的連續會員，也就是年會員。以我對自己以往吝嗇的狀態來說，我可能很願意花錢做能讓別人幸福的事，或是能讓某些事情達成的事——比如花一筆錢請全家吃一頓不算便宜的大餐，甚至可能是上萬元的費用，但我卻捨不得為自己做一點投資，讓自己少修點圖，讓自己想做的圖像或影像能更順暢地完成。
我曾經試著找過資源，當時並沒覺得有不妥之處。但後來我想，與其去拜託別人，不如想起我以前最欣賞的恩師——上淨下空老法師的智語，他說「求人最難」，我們為什麼要去求人呢？人家不見得會答應你。如果我們有能力，就靠自己吧。後來我發現，這其實是一筆很小的投資，卻能讓我真正去做自己想做的事，避免浪費太多時間。
因為我們的時間是父母給的生命，它的價值不只是讓自己快樂，更是父母送給我們的禮物——當我們幸福時，父母也會跟著幸福。就像曾子所說：「身體髮膚，受之父母，不可毀傷，孝之始也。」這是孝道的基本開始。但我卻為了省那點根本不需要省的錢，在內心辛苦掙扎了好久，總在想這筆錢是不是能省下來做別的？可我們的生命並沒有因為省下這些錢而變得更好，何況這本就是一筆小錢。為了這麼小的事情考慮那麼久，真的是愚蠢至極啊。
從今天開始，我要為自己的信念服務，為符合自己信念的事、自己想做的事服務。我不要再為任何讓自己為難或辛苦的事妥協，除非我本身沒有那樣的想法——我要去做自己想做的事，去完成自己的夢想。而這個夢想，也有可能和別人的夢想重疊。我不要再為難自己，不要再去拜託別人，也不需要別人拜託我。我要先自然地提升自己的能量，也感謝生命中曾經給我力量、給我啟發，以及曾經點亮我的人——這樣的人在這個世界上真的存在。
我不曉得哪些事情適合張揚，哪些事情只能放在心底，但這其實不重要。重要的是，我開始能在「夢想製造者」（Dream Maker）的道路上，做自己想做的事，和我的孩子一起在這個「夢想製造者」的空間裡，過著更不受限制的人生。這份價值，遠超過一頓再豐盛的享受，或是去討好別人的閒言碎語、應付那些未必重要的工作內容。但我不再認為生活的意義只有工作——所有我們做的事情，都應該從愛出發，為了幸福而做。
真的太美好了。我希望在這樣美好的體驗中，就算只是自己默默喃喃自語，也能把這份開心的力量分享出去。現在，我要讓自己的聲音變成一個更開心的信號，因為我確實進入了一個充滿開心的信念中。
當我嘴角微笑時，想起曾仕強老師給女性的一個重要提醒，他說：「我們要學會嘴角微笑，心裏在哭。」對我來說，這是一個蠻大的學習——因為當我內心難過時，很難不表現出來，我向來是內外一致的人。那這算是一種演練嗎？後來我覺得未必——因為一個真正好的習慣或信念，是可以透過練習學會的。至於微笑，我在想，或許內心不一定要哭泣。我們可以學會用嘴角的微笑，去帶動原本想哭泣的內心——那個內在的自己，或許會被我們影響，就像我們牽起那個正在哭泣的孩子的手一樣。
我們要學會，不需要用哭泣面對這個世界，因為哭泣是沒有任何行動力的。當然，哭泣確實有它的作用——它能讓我們用真實的情緒，排解掉一些心理的感受。但如果感受本來就是好的呢？如果我們透過覺察發現，生活中面對的雖未必如意，卻能讓我們學會堅強、學會自我調適，或是學會不那麼執著、學會輸得起——透過這些信念的優化，那些看似不美好的經歷，未必不是一段有意義的過程。
有人說，拿到一盤爛棋還能下好，才是真的有本事；而拿到一手好棋，要把它下爛也不難。我從來不是一個會下棋的人，但覺得這個比喻真的很好。我希望自己能練就一種能力——就算拿到的不是一手好棋，也能下得從容自然。呵呵呵，大概就是這樣吧。
I just did something extremely joyful. Many people have told me to love myself, and I often tell those I feel sorry for to do the same. Yet, in truth, I don’t think I have ever truly understood what it means to love myself in this lifetime.
For what I was taught, what I perceived, and what I felt all instructed me to love others and the world as much as possible, to make everyone feel better. Of course, I have my selfish moments and moments of doubt. For instance, when I strive to love others or the world, I don’t sense that they truly feel this sincerity—perhaps the other party doesn’t show genuine goodwill, takes it for granted, thinks it’s only right, or feels that what I give isn’t what they truly want, or even not that good at all.
In short, when someone tries their best to give to others, there’s no guarantee that others can accept it. So, what choice should I make then? Should I feel regret, sorrow, or remorse? I doubt I have ever experienced profound remorse in my life. Because later, I learned to take responsibility for all my decisions and believe that every choice creates beautiful experiences for our lives. Even if these experiences require some hard work and sacrifice, they will ultimately be worthwhile—for we can bear these costs, and in the process of giving, we become better versions of ourselves.
What makes me so happy is that I finally made up my mind to buy a continuous membership for "Ji Meng" (Immediate Dream), which is an annual membership. Given how stingy I used to be with myself, I would readily spend money on things that make others happy or help accomplish certain goals—like treating the whole family to a nice dinner that’s not cheap, maybe even costing over ten thousand yuan. Yet, I hesitated to invest in myself, to save time on photo editing, and to make the images or videos I want to create flow more smoothly.
I once tried to find resources and didn’t see anything wrong with it at the time. But later, I thought: instead of asking others for favors, I recalled the wise words of my most admired mentor, Venerable Jingkong. He said, "Asking others for help is the hardest thing." Why should we beg others? They might not agree. If we have the ability, we should rely on ourselves. Later, I realized that this is actually a small investment, but it allows me to truly do what I want and avoid wasting too much time.
For our time is a gift of life from our parents. Its value isn’t just about making ourselves happy; it’s a present from our parents—when we are happy, they will be happy too. As Zengzi said: "Our body, hair, and skin are bestowed by our parents; we must not harm them. This is the beginning of filial piety." This is the basic starting point of filial piety. Yet, for the sake of saving that trivial amount of money that I didn’t even need to save, I struggled intensely in my heart for a long time, wondering if I could use that money for something else. But our lives don’t become better by saving such small sums, and this was just a tiny amount of money. It was foolish to overthink something so trivial.
From today onwards, I want to serve my own beliefs, to serve the things that align with my values and what I want to do. I will no longer compromise on anything that makes me feel troubled or miserable—unless I don’t have that desire in the first place. I want to do what I want and fulfill my dreams. And this dream may overlap with the dreams of others. I will no longer make things difficult for myself, nor ask others for favors, nor let others ask me for favors. I want to naturally enhance my own energy first, and I am grateful to those who have given me strength, inspiration, and enlightenment in my life—such people truly exist in this world.
I don’t know which things are suitable to show off and which should be kept in my heart, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I have begun to walk the path of a "Dream Maker," doing what I want, and living a more unrestricted life with my children in this "Dream Maker" space. This value far surpasses a lavish meal, currying favor with others’ gossip, or dealing with work tasks that may not be important. But I no longer believe that the meaning of life lies solely in work—everything we do should start from love and be done for the sake of happiness.
It’s truly wonderful. I hope that in this beautiful experience, even if I’m just murmuring to myself, I can share this joyous energy with others. Now, I want to turn my voice into a happier signal, because I have truly embraced a belief filled with joy.
As I smile, I recall an important reminder that Master Zeng Shiqiang gave to women: "We must learn to smile with our lips while crying in our hearts." For me, this is a great lesson—because when I feel sad inside, it’s hard for me not to show it; I have always been someone who is consistent in words and deeds. Is this a form of practice? Later, I realized it might not be—because a truly good habit or belief can be learned through practice. As for smiling, I think perhaps the heart doesn’t have to be crying. We can learn to use the smile on our lips to influence the inner self that wants to cry—that inner self may be touched by us, just as we take the hand of a crying child.
We must learn not to face the world with tears, because crying has no power to act. Of course, crying does have its purpose—it allows us to release emotional feelings through genuine emotions. But what if the feelings are already good? If we become aware that although the things we face in life may not be ideal, they teach us to be strong, to adjust ourselves, to let go of obsession, and to learn to accept defeat. Through the refinement of these beliefs, those seemingly unpleasant experiences may not be meaningless after all.
Someone said: being able to play a bad hand of chess well is a true skill; while it’s not hard to ruin a good hand. I have never been good at chess, but I think this metaphor is excellent. I hope I can cultivate the ability to play even a bad hand with calmness and ease. Hehe, that’s probably it.